Whats Real..

I use to say to myself just smile so no1 can see your pain and I smiled until i became numb to the pain, I put my guard up and knew that nothing or no1 will ever hurt me again. I started to show no emotion and I learned that people that have nothing and no1 show no emotion so I chose to take my guard down and just take control of my life.

The year 2010 has definitely taking a big giant change in my life. I've had so many ups n downs this year that I feel like I've been through it all already. But really I haven't im still learning and growing. Some people say Im so nice and some people think Im a bitch but both of those people are wrong about me, because the people that truly know me will tell you im REAL. A lot of people around my age call them selves trying to find them self (smh) to me that's funny because I would ask those people how and when did they lose their self. I on the other hand am CREATING myself for a better future. You are who you are and you should never get any dumber. To me people who never make mistakes are not smart at all because if you don't make mistakes you never learn anything. No 1 is perfect, even the richest person in the world could be unhappy. I started to think about how people are and wondered if there is always going to be something missing from perfection just to keep us all balanced.

BRIGHT LIGHTs

This Isnt A Blame Game,
All It Is Is A Shame That Everyone Wants To Be Like Everyone Else,
Even Have The Same Names,
Well I think its lame and I would clearly say i would rather be me over you any and every day,
In Any way Shape Or Form,
Your Life Isnt Even Together,
All You See Is Bad Wither Your Right Or Wrong,
My Heart Stays Strong Because I Remain True To Myself,
I Dont Floss My Wealth Or My Well Being,
I Dont See What You See But
While The Lights Are Currently Bright In Your Face I Can See Your Blinded,
People Like You Try To Find Ways To Confind In
But When the Lights Start To Dem How Will You Keep From Frowning??

IM Classic

Classic and Old School Yeah Thats Me, I Like all the boring romantic stuff, And I Love My Black And White Old Movies Nobody Cant Tell Me Nothing :).. #DontJudgeMe..

EASY....

1 Of My Few Places I Go To Write And Get Lost In MY Words...

Last Time

So much time and still no progress,
Its weird that we even continued this process,
The arguments, the fights, the tears that i cried,
The anger, the hurt, 2 years of the lies,
So many times i said I'd let go,
And every time i did i came back for more,
Never learning my lesson that this wasn't Love,
And getting used over and over like a old plastic glove,
I even changed my morals when you said you weren't ready,
Not knowing it be forever and you'd stop treating me like A Lady,
You Started to lose Respect and soon after show Neglect,
As If i was nothing almost like you despised me,
You were with other girls so i know you denied me,
Don't get me WRONG I've made my mistake 2,
But you never made time so now I'm saying we're through,
I don't want to play this circle game no more,
We Been over and done its time i walk out the door,
I don't wanna look back and remember this crime,
But Then again that's exactly what i said Last Time....

3 DA HARD WAY aka WE

These Are My Down Ass Bitchzz... Blood Besties... I Love my girls and they fucking love me... There Is No Better LOVE... 3 DA HARD WAY... YA DIG!!!!

Only 1 For Me

Day 1 wasn't the best beginning, it definitely wasn't a good start,
But for some reason i never lost interest, I kept on trying you even though you never had time, I went from last place to 1st place in a matter of time,
And soon as i got there almost suddenly our brick walls slowly started to fall apart, we've been through so much in a short amount of time, Its crazy cause when i 1st met you i had know clue that i would ever love you, 2 years of Laughing, Loving, Crying, and Pain, How could i ever just walk away and leave you like i say i will every time we fight, How Can I Leave the 1 I gave my heart to, your the only man that can control my emotions, Sometimes we just lay up in the bed all day, and do nothing but sleep but i kid you not those are some of my best days opening up my eyes and waking up 2 you, You always put a smile on my face when I'm down, and you've been here through my sickness and health, I don't care what my friends think of you or what today's present rumor might be cause at the end of the day, I Love you and you Love me... Your The 1..

1 Night Only

How could I never notice,
did i not look you in your eyes before,
How could I almost let you pass me by,
I guess i thought you were like the rest,
but i heard your story from sundown to sunrise,
and i fell 4 1 night only,
all i could think of was that anonymous kiss,
this kiss was undefined,
it almost scared me how hard my heart was beating from the passion and the aggression i just witnessed,
I couldn't just let you leave,
I wanted to talk more and know more,
but soon as you arrived i couldn't hold back,
i had to, i wanted to, i couldn't stop myself and i didn't want to stop you,
We held each other for 1 night only,
While my head rest up on ya chest,
all i can think to myself is i don't wanna let go,
Your heart was beating this lovely song,
I enjoyed listening it relaxed me,
I felt like i knew you better then myself,
but just for 1 Night only,
Because after that night we could only be just friends,
Well Atleast thats what we thought,
but the lust we have for each other just wont let this love affair end,
because tomorrow or next week we might just do it all again..

Song (Music)

When Im driving i turn you up,
N Every morning i cant wait to hear from you,
I sneak away through the day when i wanna hear our favorite song,
Because you make my day bright even when its going wrong,
Sometimes i write you when im inside my room at night,
When ever i sing you im expressing how i feel inside,
You build me up whenever im down its easier to smile when your around,
And I know whenever im alone i can turn my radio up and i can be with you,
I Can Breath easier hearing you, Your Melody is like a drug to my veins,
If Im The Key your the lock and theres no way that i can lock you out,
If Im The Sun Your The Shade and theres no way that i can block you out,
When Im Up Set the only 1 thing I can turn to is you,
Cause with my Pen and my Paper there no limit to what I can do...

Spare Me

Spare Me The Pain, Cause I dont want to go through it,
I dont want to love and lose the best thing that i knew and,
I dont want cry on my pillow at night,
And I dont want to Argue, Fuss, Or Fight,
I Dont want to go through none of that mess,
I dont wanna ever have to deal with that stress,
If Thats what love is i dont ever want it,
So Dont Feed Me The Lies or a dream you cant do
Just Spare Me The Heartache and lets say that we're through.

sky isnt the limit

Don't tell me the sky is the limit... when there are footprints on the moon..
Dont Under Estmate All The Great things i can do,
i can dance, i can sing, i can fly if i wanted to,
There Is No Limit to the things that i can do,
I Became A Queen The Day I Had My Princess,
And As For Her Dreams They'll Live On To Success,
I Try To Guide Her The Best That I Can,
And Leave The Rest Up 2 God Because My Life Is In His Hands..
Who are you to judge the things that i can or can not do,
Cause this is my life so you should worry about you,
Some things i do other people cant comprehend,
my thoughts are like birds they fly over some peoples heads.....

Almost

We could have been, and should have been,
And if we were strong enough we would have been,
I told my self a million times not to stress the facts,
but these thoughts in my mind just kept on coming back,
Almost like your old favorite song that you can never forget,
I Just couldn't let it slip my mind,
I keep having 1 last thing to say..
Almost Like I Cant live with out you,
Even though i know i can, i just need that push and maybe for you to let me know,
so i can just let you go, I'm tired trying fake through this,
I tried to face you so many times about my feelings,
but there's no way to break through this..
We were almost there, we were so so close,
But Now That Love Is Gone Almost Like A Ghost..

MOVIE

Its A New Movie Staring Her N You,
Already Know The Ending Seen The Previews,
Oscar goes to you for best lier,
So I guess you gotta win supporting role,
This Ain't A Comedy to me, this shit ain't funny at all,
You Got My Heart Involved and now its emotionally destroyed,
It Was Clear 2 Me cause A blind man could see that your sorta still feeling her,
Almost Like A Tragedy cause even though you claimed she was ya Ex N then next ya best friend seems like you read the script all Wrong,
So now you can be with her,
And rehearse all of ya lines with her,
Since you just put my heart up on the big screen,
Its time i cut to the final scene,
Its No More Lights, Camera, Action, You Should Be Tired Of Acting,
So Now Tell Her She Can Have My Part,
Because I Wont Be The Movie Getting Played...

Hurts Then Feels Good

Promises That You Made How Could You Forget,
I Thought This Was Love All The Time That We Spent,
I Gave You My Heart And Left It All Up 2 U,
But You Could Care Less About The Things That I Do,
Now It Hurts 2 See That We're Falling Apart,
When I Gave U My World Since We Met From The Start,
But You Wouldnt Notice, You Keep Tryna Blow This,
But I Cant Let This Love Slip Away,
Tell Me Why Does It Hurt, It Hurts, It Hurts,
Then The Love We Make Feels So Good....

HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY 2 ME N MY TWIN SIS...

Some People Were Born Alone But We Were Born Together,
We May Always Fight But We'll Be Sisters Forever...

How Many Ways

So I Vowed... 2 Love you through sickness and health and whatever,
But it was never told to me that nothing last forever, So I stuck it out and I tried to fight,
But deep down I knew This just wasn't Right, So I got those papers then I Bounced.

Now New Chapter... Felt Like A Fairytale So Much Passion That It Couldn't Be Real, And Indeed It was Not Cause Just Like A Weave His Tracks Started To Show He was to controlling and couldn't let go, So I did what was right and let him know, that he wasn't gonna NEVER EVER EVER Put his hands on me no more...

So Now I'm Brand New... I Thought I understood the game, when i played you, you, and you. I ran the same game you did too, felt like a player, was scoring lay ups and shooting 3pointers from half court all day, But then I realized its NOT easy Playing Ball Always, That's a Mans Game n This Is a Mans World so i had to let go and find a new Shield.

My Life begin the day i met you, we sorta were never meant to be, but i gave you that chance to prove 2 me, you soothed me with ways my words cant even explain, i hear birds when people mention your name, because that's just how beautiful you became to me, but i guess what was wasn't really meant to be, because i became so blind that even my eyes could not see, that while i was busy loving you, YOU were freely playing me, the pain was so raw and real, I tried to hide it but my heart kept revealing... I kept trying to let you go because of this but it was something about you, Still i don't know...

To Many different ways I gave my heart and so many different ways it fell apart... So the piece of my heart that i have left i would like to keep, so i can remind me that it was never me, it was always them, i played my part each time, how many different ways can you love, the answer is too many.